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Lera Yanysheva: On Her Own (From Russian Romani)

On Her Own
By Lera Yanysheva
Translated by A.Z. Foreman

I sit at home and on my own.
I'd hoped to start a family.
The men said I was quite a lady
But years have had their way with me.

My little sisters are still young.
My baby brother is a kid.
My mother has been dead for years.
My father is an invalid.

God, what am I supposed to do?
I can't just leave them on their own.
Who else will put bread on the table?
Who else can work? It's me alone.

I did have men propose to me.
My father wouldn't let me though �
"I'm begging you: stay for the children.
We'll end up starving if you go."

The tears keep running down like water,
A fire has burned my heart clean through.
I'm no young woman anymore.
My darling, lover, where are you?

It's pointless. I can't be with you
When I have got this family.
And I have got to think of them.
The household has no head but me.

It's awful but sometimes I think of 
Running off with a gadjo man!
You girls are raising your own girls now
And I'm stuck at a market-stand.

Here men all look at me with pity
And mutter "goddamn tragedy"
And my black hair begins to whiten.
Here I am getting...elderly.

The tears keep running hot as water
Oh God! What could I do but give....
I'm old now, after what I've lived through, 
But never had a life to live. 

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? ??????? ???????!		Jekhd�in�
Lera Jan�eva

Be�av dro kher me jekhd�in�,
Me palorom ghara kamava.
Sare rak�rnas me ran�,
Ne o ber�a mire prastana.

S� mande t�knor� phenja
I mande p�al s� nabaro.
O daj miri ghara meja.
E dad phuro s� nasvalo.

So � mange D�vla te kerav?
Sjemj�t�r te ud�av na�t�.
Janava me khere te xav.
Me jekhd�in� kerav but�.

Roma javne ke me svatenca.
Na otmektja man dad miro:
"Mangava tut me cavorenca,
Amenge bit�ro pharo."

Jasva prastana s�r pan�,
Jagasa o ilo xacol.
I me ghara na som tern�.
Kaj, kaj �e tu, miro laco?

Da, pale t�te me na d��va,
Vjedj mande sj�mjica bari.
I pale len me duminava,
Vjedj me dro sj�mja xulan�.

Caj�le, lad�avo prizn�tsa,
Gad��sa me b� unastjom.
Sare caja bare cavenca,
A me pro t�rgo xodindjom.

Sare roma pe man d�khena,
Phenen, so me bibaxtal�.
Mire kale bala parnjona,
Te i kana me phuran�.

Jasva prastana s�r pan�.
O, D�vla! Sj�mja zaxaja!
I me d�khav, so me phuri.
O d�iipen zaxasija!

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